


Interlude

by darrus



Series: Threefold Cord [2]
Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:08:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5376338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darrus/pseuds/darrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We tremble and spin suspended within</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interlude

_Free_  
_The dream within_  
_The stars are crying a tear_  
_A sigh_  
_Escapes from heaven_  
_And worlds end_

_Breathe_  
_The dream within_  
_The mystifying_

"Good luck, Joachim".

And the short beeps from the phone. The conversation has ended.

Putting the phone down, he looks into the darkness outside.

Jürgen’s voice is always soft. His words always full of care and…

Three month’s ago he would have said ‘love’. Now – he doesn’t know.

The storm is raging outside.

  
_We tremble and spin  
Suspended within_

"Good luck, Joachim".

And he puts the phone down without waiting for an answer.

Just a simple conversation. Usual conversation. Like every day.

Not a harsh word spoken. Jokes and laughter shared.

Tender words flow in both directions.

Why does it feel like they’ve just had a row? When did it start?

If only he knew.

_Look beyond  
Where hearts can see_

"That’s enough for today, frau Löw", the chef looks at her and laughs kindheartedly. "I suppose your husband is waiting for you at home already."

"I’ll just finish with the papers, herr Faunst", and she lowers her head again.

Columns of numbers that make perfect sense.

She’s checked it twice – and everything is correct. As always.

Her hand touches the silver pendant around her neck. Joachim bought it for her. 'A symbol of our love', that's what he said, and she smiled in reply.

Strange, but it always feels cold to the touch. As if her body heat is not enough to warm it.

  
_Dream in peace  
Trust the belief_

Jürgen’s head is lowered.

Standing in the doorway, she’s looking at her husband.

He’s absorbed in thoughts, his finger tracing the invisible patterns across the windowpane.

Coming up to him, she embraces him tenderly from behind. He’s not surprised. Maybe he’s seen her reflection in the window. Or maybe it’s because he always knows when she is in the room and where she is, even if his eyes are closed.

"Everything’s alright?"

He turns to her, and there is this boyish smile on his face. Everything’s alright.

  
  
_We tremble and spin  
Suspended within_

"I’m sick of it already, Lothar!"

And the door is slammed shut.

He’ll apologize later. He’ll explain to his wife why he's standing there instead of going to bed. And why there is a stain of lipstick on his shirt.

Marijana will pretend that she believes his explanations. She knows better than to make a scandal.

After all, it’s just another short-time affair.

Fourth in two months.

The evening is cold.

  
  
_Free_  
_The dream within_  
_The voice is calling a song_  
_A prayer_  
_From deep inside you  
To guide you_

There are deceases that can’t be cured. Some of them are deadly.

Some of them can be perfectly lived with.

It’s just a part of everyday life.

He knows what it means to be gravely ill and live just like other people do. He’s even managed to do better than most.

Some say love is nothing more than another decease.

Well, all that it means is that he has two chronical illnesses instead of one. No big deal.

He’s a prime example of what man can achieve if he doesn’t surrender to circumstances.

"Gary", Jürgen’s voice on the phone.

He’s so used to living like that that the only time he notices that he has any problems is when someone reminds him of it.

 

_Be_  
_The dream within_  
_The light is shining_

_A flight on the wind_  
_Salvation begins_

"I won’t be coming back to London".

"I know".

Snow is covering the trees. He’ll wake up tomorrow, and it will already melt. There’ll be cold water all around.

"Gary…"

"I know".

His tone of voice is reassuring. Everything is alright.

Just like it was alright in 1995, when Jürgen left for the first time.

Just like it was in 1998, when Jürgen came back and left again.

Sometime he will come back again. And will leave once more.

Everything is as it is supposed to be.

  
  
_Look beyond  
Where hearts can see_

Wind is chasing pieces of paper across the streets. An endless merry-go-round, whirlwind of dust and raindrops filling the dark sky.

Wind is playing with the particles of sand.

Ocean waves are rushing to the shore.

It’s impossible to see stars through the heavy clouds.

Cold night in Europe.

Hot day in California.

  
_Dream in peace  
Trust the belief_

 

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

He always feels better after talking with Gary.

No matter what they talk about.

There will be rain probably. The real rain, not this annoying drizzle he hates so much.

He’s tired of this hot weather.

  
  
_We tremble and spin  
Suspended within_

 

Crumpled piece of paper on the table before him.

‘GL’ – and a long phone number.

He remembers Jürgen whispering the name in his sleep… He remebers taking Jürgen's phone ans searching through it, and finding a name and a number.

He wishes he didn't do it.

He wishes he didn't know.

And worst of all, he curses himself a coward. Because he's still not sure.

  
  
_Free  
The dream within_

 

"Damn, Lothar, can’t you just let me sleep?"

Marijana pulls the blanket over her head. She’s murmuring something else but he’s not listening. She’ll be asleep again in no time.

He stands up and walks down to the kitchen. Pours water in a glass. Takes a sip.

His throat is dry.

Sighing, he presses his brow to the window.

The glass is cold.

There is nothing easier than living a normal life. Perfectly normal life.

It’s been eighteen years already. And ten years since he and Jürgen are no longer lovers. 

It’s just that sometimes it seems too hard to get through the night.

  
_The stars are crying  
A tear_

 

"Joachim…"

"I am busy!"

He snaps at her, and she turns around and leaves slowly. Maybe she is waiting for him to call her back and apologize for his rudeness.

He is busy, and it is late. And he has work to do, or else Hansi will have a field day with him tomorrow if he shows up unprepared…

He’ll find time. He’ll spend a couple of days with her. But later.

He is busy these weeks, too busy.

It’s her problem if she doesn’t understand it.

It’s only her problem.

Absently he reaches for the phone.

  
_A sigh  
Escapes from heaven_

 

"Jürgen!"

"Coming!"

The phone starts ringing just when he’s about to walk out of the room.

For a second he stops, thinking about who it could be and what can this someone want and whether it is important.

The wind is strong, trees are bending to its force.

He shrugs and leaves the room, closing the door after him.

The phone keeps ringing.

  
_And worlds end_


End file.
